Today at therapy (journal)
So today was therapy day, and I kind of figured a couple things out. First of all, most of my emotions (like anxiety and depression) are attached to places. Like at home I’m super tired. More so than usual. If I’m out and about, I’m real anxious. And when I go to Chronic Town, I’m relaxed. I think you get the idea.
The other thing? I’m learning where my anger comes from. It all starts with my anxiety. I’m anxious all the time. That anxiety can make me irritable, which eventually leads to random feelings of anger. All in all, it’s basically just a domino effect. I’ve been irrationally anxious and angry for as long as I can remember. It’s nice to finally put two and two together.
Let’s go back to the first domino. Anxiety. Like I said, I’m always anxious on some level.
Honestly, it’s completely exhausting. Work is the worst for me. Especially with the new job. I’m still really new there, and I get lost very easily. No matter the job though, it will always be that way. I’m still hoping to get SSI/Disability. If I do, that anxiety goes down. And as that happens I’ll be less depressed and much less angry. So wish me luck on that.
On top of all that, I’m tired. Always so friggin tired. So that will be my next little project. Figuring out why. I have Lyme Disease, so that’s probably part of it. Yet I have the sneaking suspicion, that’s not the whole picture. Luckily, I like to do research. Research and a doctors appointment or so, and hopefully I can start putting that puzzle together.
All in all, I think it was a successful session today. Slowly I’m figuring out my anger and anxiety, and maybe even be on my way to finding out why I’m so fatigued all the time.
If I’m going to be honest, this post is me just venting. Getting all the information and feelings out there. Now’s the time to wrap it up for the day.
Thank you for reading.
Until next time, Namaste.