• Linsey Book


Self esteem is defined as “your confidence in yourself and your abilities”. Personally I believe my own self esteem is actually not that bad. But it could use a little improvement. Do you ever feel the same way? I’ve done the research and have found tips to raise my self esteem. If you’ve ever felt the same, follow me and I will lead you on a journey to raise our self esteem together. Here we go.

First of all, you should remember that no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Just because you feel you’ve made some mistakes, doesn’t mean you are not a good person. Secondly, you should avoid comparing yourself to others. That can create a negative self image. The great thing is that everyone is different. You are unique and wonderful in your own ways.

Do things that genuinely make you happy. Hobbies are a good way to do this. Whether it’s painting, writing, or coin collecting. Do something you enjoy, and you’ll feel better about yourself in no time. It’s all about your inner happiness. That, I believe, is the secret key.

Exercise! There have been studies that show exercise creates empowerment both physically and mentally. You will feel stronger and more self-confident. You don’t have to go to the gym to do this. Find a yoga class, or learn meditation or tai chi. In my experience, you can manage your happiness levels with a good meditation.

Surround yourself with supportive friends. This always helps me out. Just hanging out with a good friend will boost your moral. Their good energy will rub off on you, and that helps make you feel much better.

While we are talking about self esteem, I have the urge to bring up Cognitive distortions. A cognitive distortion is an exaggerated or irrational thought pattern. These can lead to depression, anxiety, and yes, low self esteem. So here are 10 of these distortions:

1. ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

2. OVERGENERALIZATION: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

3. MENTAL FILTER: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.

4. DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE: You reject positive experiences by insisting they “don’t count” for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

5. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusions.

a. Mind Reading. You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and you don’t bother to check this out.

b. The FortuneTeller Error. You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel convinced that your prediction is an already established fact.

6. MAGNIFICATION (CATASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION: You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else’s achievement). Or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desirable qualities or the other fellow’s imperfections). This is also called the “binocular trick.”

7. EMOTIONAL REASONING: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel it, therefore it must be true."

8. SHOULD STATEMENTS: You try to motivate yourself with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if you had to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. “Musts” and “oughts” are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

9. LABELING AND MISLABELING: This is an extreme form of over-generalization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself: “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him: “He’s a damn louse.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.

10. PERSONALIZATION: You see yourself as the cause of some negative event which in fact you were not primarily responsible for.

Pay attention to these patterns. By identifying these thoughts, you can refute them. Then over time, you will be able to diminish them.

I hope this article was helpful. Stay with me, while we conquer our self-esteem together! We are stronger than our emotions.

(To the side are some affirmations I thought you might like)

Until next time, Namaste

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